I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize