3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
