"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
These tits shall not be calmed
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