Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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