so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Operation Purity has been aborted
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
