Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
