This girl is more easily done than said...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Mom said you looked used
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize