just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
