Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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