I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
