Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
