I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
