On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
