Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
