dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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