More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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