Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize