Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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