you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
