Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
