If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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