Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
