he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
