Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
