I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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