what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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