apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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