are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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