you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
