So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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