I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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