No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
