you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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