The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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