She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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