I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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