Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
