this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
