Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
