Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
