I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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