no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
