my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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