Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
