As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
