my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
