:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
