New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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