I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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