You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
