My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
