So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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