Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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