Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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