i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
