Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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