Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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