I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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