The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
