I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize