It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
